The World of Horror

“The Human Centipede (First Sequence)” – Reviewed by Pinheadspenpal

Everything you’ve heard about this film is true. It is gross, hideous and kind of lame. Yet you will still feel compelled to watch it, much like I did (Wished I hadn’t as still feel nauseous at the thought of it!). So despite all the warnings to stay away from this film, curiosity will get the better of you – even those of a weak disposition (me) will end up watching it. So what’s it about? Well the title says it all, but I will elaborate.

Two annoying American tourists in Germany get lost on the way to a club and to makes matters worse it’s raining and they have a flat tyre and soon will end up as some freak hybrid, but I digress. Anyway, a scene follows showing the extent of their acting abilities (although to be fair, one of them is less annoying then the other and her acting does get slightly better as the film progresses). So to set the scene for you: it’s raining; the girls have a flat tyre so decide to run around in the woods looking for help where they stumble upon an isolated house, home to mad scientist Dr Heiter. They are invited inside where the doc kidnaps and drugs them.

The girls awaken to find they are tied to separate beds with fellow ‘guest’, a truck driver captured earlier. The doc tells the ‘guest’ that apparently he is not a match and goes on to kill him (poor guy, although he gets off lightly compared to every other person in the film). On the next awakening, the girls find they are joined by a Japanese tourist who turns out to be a match. The doctor then vividly informs his captives what he intends to do to them, make a creature that shares one digestive system. Lovely. The rest I will leave for you to ‘enjoy’.

This film is just not good. The storyline is bad - why crazy doc, who is renowned for separating conjoined twins, wants to make a human centipede beats me. Why do the two most incompetent police men ever arrive, instead of two good ones? No idea. Why did I sit there and watch the entire film? No body knows.

Although the film is pretty gross, it’s more the idea of it then what actually transpires. It isn’t an over the top gore fest that it could’ve easily been. The surgery scene is very tame (possibly because hearing the details before hand was enough to cause projectile vomiting, let alone having to see it in detail afterwards) so they kept that bit minimal at least. The rest isn’t too bad for gore, didn’t have to avert my eyes as much as I thought I would. But saying that, the real horror begins after the surgery when the three-now-one people wake up (and of course there is that scene outside when Heiter is trying to train the centipede as a pet).

So are there any redeeming factors? Well you do kind of end up caring about the end result of the characters, I did anyhow, but it is mostly a pointless no real storyline kind of film. But is it all worth it for the ending I hear you cry? Erm…no.

So good luck with the film, most of you will probably end up watching it just to see what the fuss is all about. For those of you who read this, ignore what it says, watch the film and are sick for weeks afterwards (no one likes smugness but…) told you so!

Running time: 92 mins
Starring: Dieter Laser, Ashely C.Williams, Ashlyn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura